


Lisp

by stillnotovermylordsixth



Series: KakaYama Week 2019 [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Everybody Lives, Friendship/Love, Humor, KakaYama Week 2019, Light Angst, M/M, bald shinobi, toothless shinobi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 09:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18825760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillnotovermylordsixth/pseuds/stillnotovermylordsixth
Summary: It's always the hair or the teeth. For some reason, when your soul-bond develops, you lose either one.Part of him is relieved that he didn’t go bald like Itachi. It’s common knowledge that the wigmakers in Konoha are subpar and when Team Ro actually gets to leave the village, it’s for S-rank missions which don’t usually allot much time for wig shopping.Day 1: Soulmates





	Lisp

**Author's Note:**

> In this AU, there was no clan massacre, Kakashi's friends didn't die and he has no Sharingan but still ended up in ANBU :P whatevs, he's still happier, alright! Lol.
> 
> Thank you frackin_sweet for beta reading! Much appreciated! :D

Tenzo doesn't notice the absurd number of sibilants he uses every day until his newly acquired lisp highlights every single one.

“It’s not that bad,” Itachi lies through his flawless teeth, fingers expertly weaving Tenzo's hair into a nine-strand braid. He’s not even using the Sharingan. He's just a show-off.

“Ith terrible!” he grumbles, running a gloved finger over the raw gums his missing front teeth once called home. It’s not the first pair he’s lost this week, but it _is_  the first to actually affect his speech and his gums are _stupid_ itchy.

“Is that why you’ve been hiding from him all day?” Itachi asks in a bored tone.

“I’m not _hiding_. I’m—having friend time.”

“You don’t even like me.”

“Yeah, not with that attitude.”

Itachi snickers, which brings a small grin to Tenzo’s lips. Then his gums start tingling again and he remembers why he’s been avoiding Kakashi. His frown returns.

“He’ll give me tho much shit.”

Itachi doesn't even try to lie this time.

“Mm. Yeah.”

He groans. As if Kakashi really needs another excuse to tease him. He’ll have to go through the next months without attempting a single “s” sound or he’ll _never_ hear the end of it.

He’s been dreading this since the day Kakashi explained what happens when your soul-bond develops. It's always the hair or the teeth. For some reason, you lose either one. Part of him is relieved that he didn’t go bald like Itachi. It’s common knowledge that the wigmakers in Konoha are subpar and when Team Ro actually gets to leave the village, it’s for S-rank missions which don’t usually allot much time for wig shopping.

But losing your teeth is pretty damn annoying, too. He used to rely on food pills for missions only. Now there isn’t much else he can chew. It’s either that or soup and they’re both getting old, _fast_.

There's yet to be a case of someone losing both, but he imagines that'd be one miserable sucker.

Whatever you lose grows back much stronger than before, once you figure out who your mate is. But that’s the hard part. Most shinobi don’t want the bond. It makes them vulnerable in too many ways so they do their best to ignore it. They hide their balding, toothless selves and go on with their lives.

Kakashi told him there are two ways to know who your soulmate is and both criteria must be met. First, they experience the same symptom at exactly the same time as you. And second... well, he never learned what the second was because they were called on an emergency mission and he's been too chickenshit to ask since then, lest his curiosity about the bond be misunderstood as a longing for it.

He's not sure what the point of a soul-bond is if everyone hates it. Personally, he's not exactly thrilled about being predestined for someone he doesn't even know. It just seems all kinds of wrong. So he doesn't ask any more about it, changes the subject whenever the topic comes up, and pretends he doesn’t go to sleep every night wondering what his soulmate will be like.

He’s already forgotten the perfectly reasonable evolutionary purpose for the bond, which Itachi (that _know-it-all_ ) explained once, while killing time on a mission. It’s also possible he might've made himself mokuton earplugs to tune him out. Anyway, his favorite explanation for it is provided by folklore: the legend of a clan from the Land of Weed casting an eternal, forbidden jutsu on the Land of Fire as revenge for Konoha stealing scrolls of their best kush formula to celebrate the First Hokage's bachelor party. They don’t call them Shinobi of the Leaf for nothing, y'know.

Itachi won’t tell him who he’s bonded to. It’s possible he might not even know. Tenzo suspects it's someone from his clan, since that’s usually how the freaky-eyeball houses roll. Not to mention there’s several bald Uchiha walking around the compound at the moment.

But Itachi is not much of a talker so instead of asking about it, Tenzo lets him play with his hair, which he knows he misses doing on his own head. To think that once upon a time, half the women in the village would’ve given their souls to the Reaper Death Seal to have his gorgeous locks. Poor guy. It’s only now started to grow back and all he has is a layer of peach fuzz.

Itachi doesn't flinch, but Tenzo almost falls out of the tree when Kakashi materializes in front of them.

“Yo!” their captain waves lazily. “I’ve been looking for you two. Let’s grab something to eat!”

“Can’t,” Itachi stands, releasing Tenzo’s hair. “Clan meeting in ten. But Tenzo was just saying how hungry he is.”

 _Bastard_ , Tenzo glares daggers at him, but he’s already flickered away. He knows Itachi hates socializing, so it’s no surprise he’s evaporated at the mere possibility of going out in public. But was it _really_ necessary to throw him to the wolves? Or _wolf_ , in this case.

Sometimes he wishes he had a life outside of ANBU, if only to get out of hanging out with Kakashi. He already spends most of his time with him at work. It’s hard not to have a teeny-weeny- _massive_ crush on the guy. He’s fed his unrequited feelings for far too long. For _years_ , if he’s being honest. But there’s no point in doing it anymore, especially now that he’s got this stupid soul-bond with a stranger.

“Guess it’s you and me again, Tenz! Come on, let’s get some Yakiniku. Your treat!”

His Judas of a heart does a little flip with Kakashi’s eye smile and he grimaces. That needs to stop, like, _now_.

He really doesn’t mind paying for his senpai. His ANBU salary is more money than he knows what to do with. But the very thought of trying to chew grilled meat with his few remaining molars makes him cringe.

“Um… how about ramen?”

“ _Ramen?_ ” Kakashi pouts. “Why are you being cheap all of a sudden? Have I lost value in your eyes, kohai?”

“What? No! Of cour— no, that could never happen.”

Kakashi eyes him with a glint of mischief. “Mm. Now that I think about it, you do seem awfully distant today. You didn’t even greet me as you usually do. You’ve gotten over the admiration for your senpai, is that it?”

“Fine!” Tenzo groans in defeat, knowing that Kakashi always gets what he wants. “You pick.”

At Yakiniku, _of course_ they run into Kakashi's friends because why _wouldn't_ Tenzo's especially crappy day get worse?

It's not that he dislikes them. Well, maybe Obito. But he's quite fond of Rin. She’s always been nice to him. Gai’s pretty cool, too, though he’d never voice that out loud and risk death by having his internal organs crushed with one of his hugs.

It's the fact that he has to tolerate Kakashi's obnoxious drinking habits _and_ pay the tab. For all of them. He silently curses bald Itachi and his stupid, fake clan meeting.

Sure enough, Gai challenges Kakashi to a drinking competition halfway through the meal, which the latter loses as he does _every time_. And now he’s leaning a little too close, stinking of sake through his mask.

“Oi, Tenz,” he whispers, fingers playfully tugging at his braid, “yoush wear your hair like this more often. It’s cute.”

Tenzo bites back a grin and nudges him back to his own chair. “Maybe you’ve had enough to drink for today.”

“Hey-ey-ey. What, you--veg’tarian, now?” Kakashi slurs, leaning on him again. “You haven’t touched the steak!”

“I’m not really hungry,” he mumbles.

“Oh, come on! You need the protein,” he chuckles, placing some of the meat from the grill on his plate.

“Really, I’m fine. You can have it.”

“Mine, now!” Obito shouts, swiftly swiping Tenzo’s plate away.

Kakashi glares at him and grabs more sizzling meat with his chopsticks.

“You waiting for me to feed it to you?” he giggles, waving the meat in front of Tenzo's face.

“Quit it,” he mutters, pushing his hand away.

“Open wide, Tenzo! Here comes the airplane! Prepare for land—”

“I thaid _tht_ _op_ , thenpai!”  he cries, smacking the chopsticks out of his hand. They fly across the table and clatter onto the floor. All eyes turn to him and he realizes too late that he’s practically announced what he’d meant to keep on the down low for months. Well, so much for that.

His face is on fire.

Kakashi’s eyes widen comically before he collapses into a fit of snorting laughter.

“Tenzooo! Did it just get windy in here or was that the gap in your teeth?”

Obito snorts and immediately stops when Rin shoots him a death glare.

“Awww! _Guys!_ My little Tenzo’s all grown up!” Kakashi shouts, pulling Tenzo into a headlock. “He’s got a _soulmate_ now! No wonder you’re over your senpai!” he giggles, giving him a noogie.

Tenzo’s cheeks burn hotter and he pulls away. His chair screeches on the linoleum floor as he stands from the table.

“Wait! That’s wonderful news, Tenzo!” Gai exclaims, tears already streaming down his face. “That's the very essence of youth!”

“Tenzo, it’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Rin smiles warmly, reaching for his hand. “Come on. Stay.”

“Yeah, you still need to pay the tab,” Obito jeers, earning himself a kick under the table from Rin. “Ow!”

“Tenz,” Kakashi starts, but Tenzo doesn’t spare him a glance. He takes his hand back from Rin and throws the bills on the table.

“There. That should cover it.”

“Tenz! Come on!” he hears Kakashi shout after him, but he doesn’t look back.

He doesn’t meet Kakashi and Itachi for training the next morning and skips breakfast altogether. His roommate in the barracks is out on a mission, so he’s got the whole room to mope around in peace. He’s still laying on his top bunk, staring listless at the wall. He didn’t get much sleep last night and he’s failed to get any this morning. Part of it is the humiliation Kakashi just _had_ to put him through. But there's also the frustration of not knowing who his soulmate is. Would he actually like them if he met them? Would they like _him_? Where are they, and what are they doing right now? Do they have an asshole senpai, too?

There's also the fact that his gums are so irritated from running his tongue over them repeatedly and he really doesn't know what to do about that. He rubs at them with his knuckle, growling in annoyance when the itch only gets worse.

“Itch like a bitch, don’t they?”

He scowls, but doesn’t turn toward the door. Kakashi really doesn’t know when to stop.

“You still sulking, my little kohai?”

He crosses his arms, still keeping his back to him. That should be answer enough.

Much to his surprise, Kakashi’s tone changes.

“Hey, Tenz... I’m uh…” Silence. His voice gets closer. “I brought you something.”

“Go away.”

He’s not surprised that Kakashi completely ignores his request and appears cross-legged on his bed, lithe as a cat.

“Don’t you want to see what it is?”

“No,” he lies, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall.

Kakashi tosses him a small pouch and something inside it clinks. He doesn’t try to catch it.

He sighs. “Look, I was an ass yesterday.”

“What else is new.”

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you, Tenz.”

Hm. That _is_ new. Sounds like a trick.

Tenzo glowers at him.

“Will you look in the bag?” Kakashi nudges his leg. Tenzo sighs, reluctantly giving in to his curiosity and drawing the string loose. He doesn’t really understand what he sees.

It appears to be the money he left on the table yesterday... plus an amber bottle of chamomile tincture, a ginger root, and a small brush with silicone bristles. He narrows his eyes. Is that a _baby’s_ toothbrush?

“You’re _still_ making fun—” he doesn’t get to finish because the shock of seeing Kakashi nearly knocks him out of bed.

Kakashi’s mask is down. And there’s a _face_. And a ridiculous tan line. But mostly a very, _very_ attractive face. With a tiny beauty mark. _Huh_.

“No. I promise, they really work,” Kakashi smiles.

And it’s the smile that _actually_ knocks him out of bed. Because he’s always wondered what it looked like but never in a million years imagined that it would only have six teeth.

Kakashi hops down to the floor beside him, his wide grin showing off his gums. He may have fewer teeth than Tenzo, but his front teeth are intact. That’s just _unfair_.

“The chamomile and ginger soothe the ache very well,” Kakashi explains. “But when the itch gets to be too much, the brush feels _way_ better than your finger. Trust me. More hygienic, too.”

Tenzo gapes. “Senpai—are—are you my—?”

Kakashi steps closer, so close that Tenzo can see for the very first time that he might actually be a little bit cross-eyed. _Huh. Cute._

“You wanna find out?” he whispers.

Tenzo's pretty sure his heartbeat can be heard in Suna right now. He nods.

Kakashi smiles again and Tenzo can't help but blink incredulously as his face is pulled toward that toothless smile. His lips land on a chapped, dry pair. But they’re warm and _oh_ , so nice as they move against his. He closes his eyes because it really does feel amazing when Kakashi’s lips part and he can’t hold back a moan when Kakashi's tongue gently brushes over his sensitive gums. There's a jolt in his spine and a flash of chakra all around them before they're both flung in opposite directions. Tenzo lands on the bottom bunk bed and Kakashi dents the opposite wall.

Kakashi slides down to the floor, eyes wider than Tenzo’s ever seen them. “ _Woah_.”

Tenzo’s mind swirls. “What was—what does—does that mean—?”

Kakashi runs a hand over his lips as if ensuring that they're still attached.

“Yeah,” he breathes.

“Does that...happen every time? Like… _every_ kiss?” That can’t possibly be sustainable.

“Just the first time, I think. When chakras fuse. Or something.” For the first time in all the time he’s known him, Kakashi sounds unsure. He seems just as disoriented as Tenzo is.

Tenzo's jaw is still on his lap. “ _Woah_.”

“Yeah, woah,” Kakashi chuckles.

“So… are we… bonded?”

Kakashi’s face is surprisingly expressive without the mask. He looks genuinely terrified as their eyes meet. “Is that… okay?”

“I… I don't know,” Tenzo admits. This changes _everything_. His soulmate is no longer a hypothetical stranger. It’s the captain who saved him from Root. The senpai he’s admired for years. The friend who taught him how to feel again. His _best_ friend. The man he’s loved for so long and given up on the dream of having his affection reciprocated. He needs time to process this new development.

Kakashi only nods. He looks _wounded_.

Tenzo bites his lip guiltily as he watches his shoulders sag. Neither says anything for a long time. Finally, Tenzo breaks the silence.

“Do _you_ want this, Senpai?”

Kakashi shrugs. “Do we have a choice?”

“You know we do.”

Bonds can be broken, after all. It's rare and it's dangerous, but it can be done.

Kakashi frowns down at his hands, mouth twisting into a grimace. “I don't _not_ want it,” he mumbles.

That makes the corner of Tenzo’s mouth twitch until he can’t fight the stupid grin anymore. Kakashi _wants_ him. And it’s all he can do to keep from jumping onto his lap to kiss him again. Still, he kneels next to Kakashi by the wall and takes his hand, calloused and scarred, just like his.

“Then… you wanna try that again, maybe?”

His heart performs the customary somersault when Kakashi’s beautiful face lights up.

“Hell yeah!”


End file.
